I find myself to be a kind person. I find myself to be a loyal person. Therefore, if I consider a person a friend, they have passed a rigorous test that is unbeknownst to them. I do not remove the friendship unless an extreme situation arises.

Well, an extreme situation arose.

I befriended a busser. Spanish is her first language. We worked well together. While we cleaned tables in my section together, we would chat. I enjoyed the chats. I considered her a friend. She is jovial and kind. She is trustworthy.

One day, I had a party of three on the patio who were there for an extended period of time. There was a $5 bill at the end of the table. Etiquette dictated that the money is to remain untouched until the entire party left. The money may not be for me.

The restaurant has been closed for at least 30 minutes now. They were still there. I completed my other duties and then returned to the table. They were gone. The table was clean. The $5 bill was gone.

I looked around the floor near the table. I couldn’t find it. I asked the patio closer if he saw the money. He didn’t see the money. I became curious. The table was clean. Maybe the busser, my friend, saw the $5.

I bumped into her and asked her if she saw the $5 at the table. She immediately became very defensive. “I didn’t steal the money. I didn’t steal the money! Check my apron! Check the video tape! You’re accusing me of stealing your money. I’m not a thief. I’m not a thief!”

I was totally taken aback. She immediately went to the front of house manager. I went to the back of house manager. The conversation continued on the patio with both managers present.

It was a huge language barrier. That’s what it was.  The more she accused me of calling her a thief, the more I denied the accusation. The more I denied the accusation, the more she thought I was accusing her of being a thief. We were both crying. We were both yelling. We were both sad.

The burden became so great that I fell on my knees. I was weak with grief. I wish….I wish I took a breath. Took a breath and just used my head! But the damage was done. It was done.

I tried my best to repair the damage. I arranged a meeting with her, the manager on duty, and a trusted bilingual server brother about 3 days later. We cleared the air. We all agreed that night was a huge misunderstanding. We explained the situation from our perspective. I thought the friendship was repaired. I was wrong.

There’s no more chats in any form now. There’s no more eye contact. No greetings. There’s friendly energy there at all. After all the work to repair the friendship, the friendship is still dead.

Now, I have no choice. I have to declare the friendship is dead. I’m heartbroken over this. I truly am.

I am learning one thing though. I’m learning to be joyful no matter what. I still work with her. This is the reality I face. I still choose to be cheerful and I still choose to control my fate.